A week ago, Instagram released its newest sensation, Instagram for Google’s Project Glass. For those unaware, Project Glass are glasses that project images into your right eye’s vision, and contain a computer that responds to voice commands. Instagram has hopped on the bandwagon, offering its world-renown filters as an add-on for the unbelievable technology.
For this new product, Instagram has added several filters unique to the Google Glass app, such as DrunkGoggle. This is an app simulating the phenomenon commonly known as “beer goggles,” causing people around the user to appear fiercely sexually attractive and attracted to the user.
Users will also be able to add classic Instagram filters and cool effects to their otherwise boring perspective on the world around them. Some lucky individuals were given a week-long trial period to see how they liked the product.
“Instagram for Google Glass is amazing! I never realized how ugly the world around me really is!” says beta tester Laura McMuffin™. “During my trial week, I’d say to myself, ‘Today feels like Walden… Or maybe X-Pro.’ I could never decide! I just wish I could get it back.”
Another beta tester, Paul Nutterbutter™, commented, “Whenever I ate, I first would turn on Lo-Fi. It was glorious. Now that my trial’s done, I can’t eat. I’ve lost over 30 pounds in a month, the food just looks so bland and disgustingly plain.”
Some users have reportedly tried to fill the void left by their trial periods ending, carrying several pairs of differently tinted sunglasses at all times. A street racket of tinted glasses conterfeits has sprung up in major cities across the US and in China.
Others no longer on the trial even have created DIY Google Glass eyewear by taping their iPhones to cheap eyeglasses and leaving Instagram open, and covering their other exposed eye with an eyepatch. Hipster culture has responded to this by securing Polaroid cameras to their heads. Other users have been spotted staring at their newly painted nails, looking at themselves in the mirror for hours, taking eyeball selfies, or just enjoying cats way too much.
Instagram’s social networking side of the app has blown up from this new technology. Users across the world have been logging record hours, caring more and more about their likes, and judging an individual’s worth based on how ‘liked’ their Instagrammed life is online.
Furthermore, there have been several reports of trial users considering abruptly ending their lives, not wanting to live in such an awfully boring world without Instagram filters. One told us, “Without Nashville, Valencia, or Earlybird, I have nothing. Not even my job as a doctor or my supermodel husband gave me the same enjoyment for life that my Instagram for Google Glass gave me. Now all I have left is my old, unfiltered life. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”