This year, the St. Paul police have stepped up their enforcement of alcohol-related laws as part of a national effort to end underage drinking. Naturally, the once-vibrant Macalester off-campus party scene has taken a big hit, with parties being broken up and social host violations being dispensed on the regular. Macalester, not a school known for rolling over, has responded in a rather interesting way: Post-gaming.
Instead of drinking before and at parties that get loud and out of hand, Macalester students have decided to attend parties totally sober and then get hammered afterwards before going to sleep. This allows students to attend the social gatherings they have come to adore, but also get really really drunk, which is fun.
Alan Alanzander, an underage sophomore affected by the new crackdown, had some interesting insight. “This actually works really well for my interests,” said Alanzander. “I love parties with polite conversation and light polka dancing, but I also crave the sweet sweet taste of Taaka brand vodka. So this new arrangement is really a win-win.”
Student response to this new trend has been overwhelmingly positive but for different reasons.
“I have immense respect for local law enforcement and if they don’t want me throwing loud parties then I will not,” squawked some junior. “I also have a crippling dependence on alcohol. These two interests are pretty frequently at odds…”
The new trend has also lead to some interesting changes in the way courtship takes place at Macalester College.
“I used to just grind on girls at Kagin and go home with them,” remembered senior Richard Phallow, wistfully. “But that’s all changed now. These days if you want to pick up a lady at Kagin, you have to politely ask them to dance, waltz for five or more songs, then take them home to shotgun at least three beers before any of the fun stuff. I’m not sure modern courtship is for me.”
It remains to be seen how long this trend will last, but Macalester’s long-standing record of social responsibility and ardent love for local law enforcement say this one may be here to stay.