Super Senior Spotlight: Cody Johnson

When the class of 2008 heard the “Your Business Here is to Learn” speech at new student convocation, Cody Johnson ’13 took the message to heart. Johnson has been learning for nine years now and “has no plans to stop anytime soon.” The seasoned senior is a women’s, gender and sexuality studies major “with an emphasis in women.” This week, The Hegemonocle sits down with Cody to discuss his unparalleled commitment to live the NORSY (No Regrets Senior Year(s)) lifestyle.

The Hegemonocle: What are the pros and cons of being a ninth year Macalester student?

Cody Johnson: Pros: Kagin still rules, the incoming male class is unattractive as ever, and The Hegemonocle. Cons: multiculturalism requirement (how the fuck do I fulfill that?), the Daily Piper, a general lack of shaving and The Hegemonocle.

Hege: What does your class load look like this semester?

CJ: First, I’m taking Con-Con pass fail. It will be my seventh semester doing so. Also, I’m taking GeoCinema. I smoke a bowl before class and then get to watch Planet Earth. I’m still not sure how that’s a four-credit course. Finally, I’m working on my WGSS Capstone: “Vagina: a sustainable approach.”

Hege: Where are you living this year?

CJ: The children’s reading room. Lovesac + Good Night Moon brings me to climax.

Hege: How has Mac challenged you?

CJ: The toaster, holy fuck.

Hege: How are you able to finance your extended stay?

CJ: My main form of sustenance is the popcorn machine. People believe that Mac students consume $10,000 worth of popcorn each semester. I’d say 3/4 of that is just Terry Gorman and me. I get a little bit of spending money by stealing fruit and reselling it for profit at orphanages.

Hege: Any plans for graduating in the future?

CJ: Not really. The real world is just a little too global, rigorous and inspiring for me.

Hege: If you could give an incoming first year any words of advice, what would that be?

CJ: 204-313-4093, hmu ladies (no commercial interests).


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