Hege Profiles: The Café Mac Pizza Man

In response to Café Mac’s recent trend of wild and crazy pizza, we sat down with the man behind the madness for a candid one-on-one interview about what inspires Barry Pieman, the Café Mac pizza creator.

The Hegemonocle: Barry, thank you for joining us. Lets dive right in — why all these zany pizzas?

Barry Pieman: What you see as ‘zany,’ I see as merely an expression of the soul and the universe. For me, pizza is the ultimate artistic medium and I use it to comment both on my feelings and the world around me. Where you see dough, I see a blank canvas waiting to be mastered. We don’t live in a simple cheese and pepperoni world with triangle slices; the world we live in is dark and mysterious, like zucchini and stale shellfish medley.

Hege: What about the slices? We rarely see triangles; at best we get some irregularly hacked squares, what gives?

BP: If I had it my way there would be no slices, certainly not regular ones. We would merely tear at the pie like time slowly tears away at the innocence of youth.

Hege: Uhhh… ok. How about this, let’s say we have a gray dreary overcast day, very dull. Might we see some simple cheese and red sauce then? At least something palatable and maybe a little boring?

BP: Too easy. I don’t see things that way. As an artist, I see an opportunity to make a pizza that really tells a story even in the driest, simplest of times, maybe something like taco sauce and shrimp, but really chewy flavorless shrimp. Cheese and red sauce does not say overcast, dull Wednesday; IT SAYS DEAD! I make pizza for the living and free of heart.

Hege: Ok, jeez. One last question, do you ever get any pressure from the head chef or Café Mac to make more mainstream pizza?

BP: Sure, but I shrug it off. My craft means more to me than any simple job. They can tell me to make meat lovers when the PF’s come, but if that’s not what’s in my heart, what I feel in my deepest loins, then I won’t make it. They can fire me if they want, but I’ll always find my dough and my brick oven. People said Jackson Pollock was just throwing paint at a canvas, and his art changed the world. Someday I’m gonna change the world.

Hege: Thanks for your time, and for anyone still reading, this reporter recommends you start eating pizza at The Loch.

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