SAFEWALK TRIES NEW APPROACH

ST. PAUL— Authorities at SafeWalk have recently accepted the truth: they don’t get too many calls. In response, they are introducing a new program, SafeStalk, to generate demand for their services.

SafeWalk unveiled this plan to the board of trustees. The Board supports it as a means of increasing student employment, as well as safety. SafeStalk staff members randomly follow students around who have never called SafeWalk. The staff member wears a threatening peacoat, follows about three feet behind the student, stops when the student stops and walks when the student walks, and occasionally recites a menacing message into a walkie-talkie. In addition, extra SafeStalk staff members hide behind bushes and jump out as the student passes.

“While SafeStalk is still in its trial period, we hope it is only temporary,” says the president of SafeWalk. “We want people to feel unsafe so we can make them feel safe again.”

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