By: Milo Tabby, Feline Associated Press (FAP)
At the latist meating of the Kitty Kibble Kongress, kongressional kat leeders frum the Kuddly Kute Kitty Koalition unanimoosly votid on an amendmeant to the Kitty Kibble Kongress Konstitution, witch will rename the “litter box” to the “glitter box.”
Accordion to Speeker of the Housekat Klay Akon, the glitter box will be a “gendurr-nootral safe spaze for kitties to take a krap and feel like the king or kueen they arr.”
“I kould not be more kontent with the koalition’s konklusion,” Akon kommented in a kommunikation to the press. “I’m on kloud 9.”
The Kibble Kongress plans to dezignate several kompetent kat leeders to a Kaleieiodoscoopic Kat Kommision, in charge of dezigning and implemeanting the glitter box in howses and Petkos thru-out the US. The Kommision will werk paw in hand with Jared® the Galleria of Jewelry to see that the glitter box meats the specifikations of the kommon kat.
“If onlee this idea had kome about sonar, think about all of the possibilitities,” krooned Kat Stephens. “If Katman had a glitter box instawled in his Katmobile, he might have been more qwik at defeating the Joker and had more time for shitz. If Tom had a glitter box to make him happyer, he might not kare abowt Jerry.”
Already, manny kat liders and publical speekers have prazed this legislation, tho humanz have not.
Accordion to one such human, kat owner Bill Robertson, “the Glitter Box is literally the dumbest invention. It completely fails to mask the odor of cat poop, and now my cat trails glitter all over the house, to the extent that my living room looks like the aftermath of a Ke$ha concert—thanks Glitter Box…”
We katz will not sit 4 that kind of degradement! We fight 4 katz everywhere!
“From Kilimanjaro to Katmandoodoo to Kansas, the glitter box will revolootionize kat shitting and kat-sitting,” exklaimed Jimmy Kibble, prezident of the Kitty Association for Tuna and Noms in Interesting Places (KATNIP).
“Siamese kats and tabby kats, housekats and feral kats, fat kats and puddy kats, will be able to join paws, and meow the words of the famous kitty mawntra, ‘Everybody wants to be a kat, because a kat’s the only kat, who knows where it’s at,’” he purred vehamentally.