Recent Blood Testing Indicates Christ a Raging Alcoholic

A recent study at a local Catholic Church has revealed that Jesus Christ may have been suffering from a severe case of alcoholism prior to his death. Testing indicated that his blood alcohol content reached around 7.5% ABV with a high sugar content, comparable to cheap, sweet wines. Upon further inspection, Mr. Christ’s body appeared to have, over time, decomposed into a medium that is chemically identical to inexpensive crackers.

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