Area Man Almost Has Extra Vending Machine Candy Bar

Local accounts manager Thom O’Connell has spent the past forty minutes attempting to remove an extra Snickers bar from its coil. According to onlookers in the snack room, O’Connell has tried every conceivable method of removal to no avail. As one bystander reported, the commotion first started with Thom slamming his fists into the snack machine.

“At first I thought he was foolish to even try,” admitted Cynthia Lauer, one of O’Connell’s co-workers. “But then I realized just how close the candy bar was to falling. I couldn’t peel myself away.”

After rocking the machine back and forth, O’Connell made the bold play to get on his knees and reach through the retrieval slot. Amid squeals of excitement from the onlookers, he twisted his arm further and further into the bowels of the snack dispenser—past the Trident, Starburst, and Combos, but just shy of the chocolaty prize.

Asked why this trial has become such a spectacle, one office worker offered an insight: “Thom’s just had a really tough time lately. His teenager keeps giving him grief, his wife seems distant, and his father has been sick in the hospital for weeks now. One free Snickers might not seem like much to any of us, but Thom needs this. And we’re all here to support him.”


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