Blast From The Past: The biggest news stories from the 1990s

New Information Emerges About Mommy’s Friend Steve

An inside source reports today that Mommy and Mommy’s friend Steve may not have, in fact, been “bed wrestling” when Mommy’s door was accidentally opened last Saturday.

In addition, new information has come to our attention suggesting that the funny yelling overheard earlier this week may have potentially not been “Mommy and Steve laughing while having a tickle fight.”

This new information calls into question the existence of previously observed games such as “naked charades” and “sweaty horsies.”

While the true nature of these games is unclear, many sources think it has something to do with kissing.

Top Analysts Suspect Lisa Might Want to Kiss You

Despite the fact that she’s always mean to you and chases you around, experts now believe Lisa may actually want to kiss you. Although her intentions remain ambiguous, many think that Lisa’s aggression is actually the manifestation of some sort of perverse affection. For example, when she says “I think you’re mean and you smell bad,” she may actually be saying that she has a big ol’ crush on you. However, although she may want to kiss you, it’s probably just on the cheek, because lips? Ewwy.

Findings Suggest Girls Have Pee-Pees Too

Breaking news emerged today that girls, once thought to have nothing Down There, may in fact have pee-pees just like mine and yours. Fascinatingly, one investigator claims that not only do they have pee-pees, but that their pee-pees go in. So far this claim has been dismissed as ridiculous and “simply infeasible” by the majority of the journalistic community.

Information regarding whether or not girls also have bum-bums is currently being heatedly debated.

Daddy Is Only The Second-Tallest Man In The World

Billy’s dad is a little taller.

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