Man Wins Good Guy Award

Yesterday, area man Randall Gibaldi won an award for being a Good Guy. The winner usually exhibits traits that explicitly show they are a good person. This is Mr. Gibaldi’s first award.

Mr. Gibaldi expressed his contentment. “I am glad I won this award. I know I have my misgivings, but I’ve always thought of myself as a generally good guy and it’s nice to know other people agree.”

When asked to comment, Mr. Gibaldi’s former professor Jerry Chrysanthemum said, “I would definitely describe him as good.”

His housemate from college, Homer Un, said, “Yea, Ayn Rand [Randall Gibaldi], he deserved it. He would pee on the seat, but he always wiped it off after. He really earned this one.”

Ex-girlfriend Kimmy Jemmel added, “He cheated on me, but he got me flowers after.”

Mr. Gibaldi’s mother was overjoyed. “I knew my little Randy could do it! He used to find and kill squirrels in the neighborhood,” she said. “But he always made the softest mittens out of the fur. I’m so happy everyone could see what I’ve always known, that he’s a good person at heart.”

Despite his success, Mr. Gibaldi isn’t satisfied. “This has all been so great, and I’d really love to win again next year,” Mr. Gibaldi said while holding the door for someone.


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