Macalester College, a formerly anti-Greek institution, adopted its first fraternity and sorority last month. New to campus were Delta Alpha Delta, the college’s fledgling fraternity, and Mu Omicron Mu, its sister sorority. The Greek houses replaced Macalester’s Russian and French houses.
“Who even lived in those places? This is America,” said Brock O’Tool, the Macalester junior who pushed for Greek life on campus. “Who needs to be bilingual when you can be frat-tastic?”
The fraternity held several workshops to spark interest among male students: How to Use Moodle to Get Laid, C’s Get Degrees, Why Being Politically Incorrect is More Fun. Mu Omicron Mu sponsored events for female students such as Vanity & Vineyard Vines, Manicures & MRS Degrees, and Conformity & Cupcakes. The preliminary activities were poorly attended and attracted very few recruits.
Delta Alpha Delta and Mu Omicron Mu co-hosted a frat party in hopes of rallying student enthusiasm. The event featured near-lethal consumption of alcohol, excessively sexual dancing, high levels of intercourse, and dog fights.
However, many Mac students remained unconvinced after the gathering. “Isn’t this what we have Kagin for?” said a sophomore.
“We wanted to let Macalester try out Greek life,” said President Brian Rosenberg. “It’s clear that most students are not ready for such a mainstream approach to social life.”