Reasons she doesn’t love you

1. That time you tripped while walking up to your presentation in Cultural Anthropology. Idiot.

2. You don’t check her Facebook often enough

3. She lost her ability to love in the Fire

4. “Love” can have a variety of meanings. Cultural differences in conceptualizing love prevent a universal definition. What do you mean by “love”?

5. You haven’t seen The Godfather

6. You didn’t start drinking until high school

7. You pee in the shower

8. She loves Alex. She laughed at his jokes, didn’t she?

9. You’re always on Google Chat, always so available

10. She is a robot, an insentiant insentient being, and therefore incapable of interpersonal affection

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