The Ways We Date at Mac

Guaranteed tips for finding love before the end of your first year!

DO

Compliment their appearance.

No Mac girl can resist a smooth compliment about her Birkenstocks.

DON’T

Get too specific.

If you tell them you like the jaggedness of their big toenail, you might get a strange look.

DO

Ask them to follow you on Twitter.

DON’T

Ask them to follow your Limp Bizkit fan blog, Rizkit4daBizkit.tumblr.com.

DO

Be brave at Kagin! Grinding is a totally underrated form of intimacy.

DON’T

Try to initiate grinding in non-Kagin settings. Yeah, Cafe Mac lines can get close, but be cool, bro.

DO

Start conversations with topical questions such as “did you know the Ebola Nurse costume at Wal-Mart is sold out?”

DON’T

Let your discussion of ebola symptoms segue into a sensual discussion of body fluids. Save that for Date 3.

DO

Write them a love letter lamenting hegemonic institutions and complimenting their cute butt.

DON’T

Write them a song. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re no Justin Timberlake. More like the one with pineapple dreads. Chris, I think?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s