The Ways We Date at Mac

Guaranteed tips for finding love before the end of your first year!


Compliment their appearance.

No Mac girl can resist a smooth compliment about her Birkenstocks.


Get too specific.

If you tell them you like the jaggedness of their big toenail, you might get a strange look.


Ask them to follow you on Twitter.


Ask them to follow your Limp Bizkit fan blog,


Be brave at Kagin! Grinding is a totally underrated form of intimacy.


Try to initiate grinding in non-Kagin settings. Yeah, Cafe Mac lines can get close, but be cool, bro.


Start conversations with topical questions such as “did you know the Ebola Nurse costume at Wal-Mart is sold out?”


Let your discussion of ebola symptoms segue into a sensual discussion of body fluids. Save that for Date 3.


Write them a love letter lamenting hegemonic institutions and complimenting their cute butt.


Write them a song. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re no Justin Timberlake. More like the one with pineapple dreads. Chris, I think?


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