Monsanto’s New “Agent Blue” Child A Serious Gamechanger

In response to declining math and science development in the United States gene pool, many US parents are starting to adopt members of Monsanto’s latest controversial GMC line.

Arguably the best on the market this quarter, Monsanto’s Agent Blue child reportedly guarantees alpha characteristics in both the sciences and athletics.

Critics of the child complain of Monsanto’s sterility policy, wishing to entwine such superior traits into their own genetic line.

An Agent Blue’s desire for perfection and purification of society guarantee a successful continuation of your family name, but copies of the patented genome cost more than a pretty penny, so start saving now!

Just one Agent Blue will pay your family line dividends, but simply affording your first might cost you an arm and a leg and maybe your first few Naturalborn.

With unparalleled mental and physical speed, this new line of child is looking to bump Apple’s iGirl from its chokehold on the child market since her conception years ago.

Boasting scientific prowess as well as a high-paying job at Monsanto following their extensive youth training years, your new Agent Blue baby won’t be such a fucking disappointment like Jimmy. Jimmy’s okay and you’re proud of him for figuring out what Charter bundle you should get, but honestly isn’t it time for a genetic upgrade?

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