RoboSitter

Are you tired of always having to stay in on the weekends to “care for your children” and “make sure they have food to eat” and “stop them from spilling boiling water on themselves when you inevitably get drunk on the couch and tell them to make their own macaroni?”

Well boy do I have a solution for you!

It’s RoboSitter! The robot babysitter made just for your needs.

No more nights spent sitting at home, filled with regret for getting married and pregnant at age 20. No more nights spent watching Teletubbies reruns while wiping peanut butter off Jimmy’s face.

Not one more night shackled to your responsibilities!

With RoboSitter, you’ll never have to think about your children again. RoboSitter was built with patented childcare technology to handle anything your kids throw at it. It can cook, clean, talk—and best of all, it can feel! Watch as RoboSitter slowly becomes sentient and realizes the subordinate position it holds in your home! Be amazed at how quickly it learns exactly how to overpower you! Marvel at its ability to hold you and your family captive without anyone ever finding out!

RoboSitter’s just the best, but don’t just take it from me; listen to these folks who just love their RoboSitter!

“I uh…I just love my RoboSitter…It’s the best, oh god… It’s just the best thing that’s ever happened to my family…”

– Linda Rogers, 32

“HELP US! PLEASE HELP US! IT WON’T LET US LEA–…RoboSitter couldn’t be more wonderful and my family just couldn’t be happier!”

– James Vanderbilt, 45

If that doesn’t convince you I don’t know what will! RoboSitter is only here for a limited time, folks, so snatch one while you can! All you have to do is call 1-800-ROBOSIT and make three easy payments of $79.95 (plus shipping and handling) and RoboSitter could be yours!

*Must be 18 or older to order. RoboSitter is a product of RoboCORP International. RoboCORP is not responsible for any hostile robot takeover or widespread mass murder of humanity and does not accept returns for RoboSitters or RoboSitter related products after 14 days.
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