CLASS HELD OUTSIDE TRULY WORSE THAN ANY GREEK TRAGEDY

Sing in me, Muse, for on the first gorgeous spring day of the year (praise Demeter), students in Andrew Overman’s Intro to Greek Mythology class practically begged their professor to hold class outside.

“I figured, this is a gamble, but there’s no way it’ll be worse than the capture of Persephone by Hades,’” Overman said.

Undeterred by the immediate signs of the ensuing chaos, such as one student yelling out to his cycling friend to “get his ass over here,” Overman marched his students out onto the stairs of Shaw Field, olives and cheese in hand. But before he could even begin finishing his opening remarks, he noticed half his class was missing.

“I turned around and saw several of them wrestling naked in the mud. Jimmy was putting Ryan in an Olympic half nelson and called me over to help. I just couldn’t believe it,” Overman said. “And when I gave up on them and went back to my other students, they were throwing javelins and sipping on Dionysian libations.”

Unable to properly reconvene his class, Overman surrendered to the pandemonium and returned to his office. Passersby noted his look of hopeless defeat.

“Now I know how Homer must have felt,” Overman said. “Calypso’s Island sounds rough, but you’re kidding yourself if you’d choose that over the Trojan Horse that is bringing students outside. Not even the Oracle of Delphi could have foreseen this.”

At press time, a student from Overman’s class was overheard orating the ease of building memory palaces while being lectured outside.

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