Letters to the editors, from the editors:

Dear Jamie,

Michelle and Joe. Ross and that other guy (Harvey?). Lydia and Tom. After today, we join this list of The Hegemonocle Editors-in-Chief Emeritus who served between the Fall 2013 and Spring 2017 semesters.

Jamie and Austin. These are our names. Picture them at the end of the list above. Also, I just remembered that guy’s name. It was (and still is, I bet) Henry.

As our time as co-Editors-in-Chief comes to a close, I want to remind you of all the other titles we’ve held within the Hege organization. They include, chronologically: Staff Writer, Eye Candy, Leading Consultant, Assistant Editor, Managing Editor (me), Head Writer (you).

Despite our changing roles for this magazine in the past four years, Hege has been consistently enjoyable from Day 1, except for the end-of-year roast when we were sophomores, obviously.

I don’t wish to speak for you (and I suppose this letter should be about speaking to you), but I believe it’s safe to say that we would not be the same without Hege, nor would Hege be the same without us. Well, the magazine would probably still be called The Hegemonocle, but how would all the Political Science and English majors on our staff gauge the accuracy of science-related jokes?

I’ll end this letter to you by answering a question Noah posed last year: “What day of the week is Thursday?”

Well, Jamie, Noah, and everyone else to whom this letter is not addressed, Thursday is Hege-day, and on every coming Hege-day from 9:00 to 10:00 pm my heart will long for a second-floor CC meeting room full of pieces to workshop and friends to roast.

Thanks for being a part of something so good with me, Jamie. It’s Friday and we just released the latest issue of Hege – let’s celebrate. Bud Light Limes on me tonight.

Hege forever, Austin


Dear Austin,

I recently read on Facebook that Des Moines is the new Brooklyn. Now I know you’re not a Des Moines man yourself, but you still grew up bathing in that Iowa sun gorging on that Iowa soil. It only feels fitting that I would read about our respective hometowns on social media, as perhaps unbeknownst to you, I’ve been your social media intern since 2013.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve spent four years increasing your average number of likes per post. It hasn’t always been easy–who can forget the Search Engine Optimization Incident of 2015?–but I wouldn’t take any of it back. 9:00 to 10:00 on Thursdays were a special time. As we went around the room workshopping articles with some of the most interesting and wonderful people Macalester has to offer, it was an honor to mostly ignore it in favor of designing algorithms to catapult you into Time’s Top 100 Most Influential STEM Majors.

But those days when I could actually pay attention because you had more social media engagement than you needed, or you had become so embroiled in scandal that no amount of PR finesse could save you, I knew that my time with The Hegemonocle could not be better spent.

As a sidenote, I’ve thought long and hard about what day Thursday is. Still figuring that one out. Sorry, Noah.

I’ve learned so much from you and everyone else who decided that writing for a college humor magazine might not be so bad. It has been a joy to crank out two or three of these things a semester. Although this will be the last issue you and I will lead, there’s more to come– this semester and beyond.

Yours always,



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