Mac Student Highlights of 2017 for your astrological sign

Aries: a bad case of gastroenteritis on your birthday weekend

Taurus: “accidentally” send nudes to your advisor on two separate occasions

Gemini: your 4 year old cousin tells you they’re disappointed in you

Cancer: wait two hours in the rain for your bus; get on the wrong bus

Leo: slam your finger in the fridge door twice in one day

Virgo: mom reveals that the pet fish you had when you were five did not actually “run away”

Libra: overhear your RA calling you a “huge fuckin’ narc”

Scorpio: you misuse the term “neoliberal” in your politics class; the professor kicks you out

Sagittarius: eat a gas station hot dog out of desperation and rate it as “ok”

Capricorn: have a full blown meltdown in the library when your essay prints in landscape

Aquarius: roommate barfs in your defrosting mini-fridge; you find out 3 days later

Pisces: pubic landscaping gone awry

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