Raise Your GPA with these Easy Tips!

-Wear horse blinders everywhere you go. Keep your eyes on the prize!

-Sleep with the Registrar and/or BriRo

-Ask your classmates how they did on that test and always say you did better, then feel pressured to live up to the lie

-Play Edward 40Hands but with books

-Snort some addy before study seshes, then pop a couple benzos to ensure a good night’s sleep

-Get seven hours of sleep every night, take thorough notes, go to office hours regularly, ask questions in class, utilize resources at the MAX center

-Just fucking be better

-Switch to a smaller major, like Russian Studies. They need majors so badly they’ll give you a 4.0 to keep you around

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