Where in the World was the Panini Press?

  • At the bottom of the Mississippi River, thrown there by the waffle maker
  • Studying abroad in India, to find itself
  • Imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay
  • Backpacking through Europe
  • Living off campus
  • Fired for trying to unionize with the toaster and the gluten free waffle maker
  • Went to Mars to escape the human race
  • Hiking through the Andes for the thrill of it
  • Fell asleep on the light rail
  • Got lost in Olin-Rice
  • Has a panini-making internship in Minneapolis
  • Dropping out to pursue a career as a George Foreman grill
  • Serving as the primary source of nourishment for the army of David Sisk clones (see David Sisk Cloning Project Discovered in Basement of Dupre)
  • On a pilgrimage to Italy to make real panini • Nessie’s
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