The Thoughts That Plague Me, a Small Man Trapped Inside a Large Water Balloon

1. There is a lot of water and I’m in the water.

2. I can only see some of the children at the birthday party, but I know there are many.

3. I can hear the children coming closer, their sickening dumb screams echoing in my watery tomb. I do not like the children.

4. The children reek of feces and pizza, and it is palpable inside my balloon. I wish to vomit but cannot because I’m surrounded by water in a balloon. My balloon.

5. I am aware the children wish to take my balloon from me, but I do not know for what. What vile, lecherous black magic do these foul, feces soaked giants plan to release on the planet? I tremble in my balloon.

6. The balloon is not of aesthetic value.

7. Although the balloon is mine, the water is not, and I see no in which to return the water to its owner without sacrificing the structural integrity of my balloon. I will deliberate and return with more data.

8. The children have strung a small, multicolored horse up on a tree branch and have beaten it into submission. Will this be my fate?

9. The deceived masses are today captivated by the myth of success even more than the successful are. Immovably, they insist on the very ideology which enslaves them. It is this apparatus that traps us in the clenched jaws of the culture industry sucking the life from its dumb, sightless sheeple.

10. I do not believe there is anything which the children fear. I have looked into their eyes and seen only malevolence and stupidity. And they just smile, fluid spilling out of their open, toothless grins. I hate the children.

11. The water remains problematic.

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